The GPS flat lines and Highway 287 continues its promise of salvation. Each mile we traverse, the gloom thickens; for 40 miles we drive blind, scanning the horizon searching for evidence of the existence of the LX Ranch. The radio mocks us as radar love slithers across the airwaves: 'I've been driving all night my hands are wet on the wheel and a voice in my head drives my heel...' and the reality dawns upon us that we are lost! A predetermined play list seems to have been programmed into the radio, for as ZZ Top's La Grange barks about 'old Texas town' , fingers of light break through the cloud cover and illuminates a green arch that radiates the LX Ranch sign. We are here!
Greg, whose belt buckle and spurs tell the story of rodeo glories manages the ranch, whilst his beautiful wife Rhonda is a true 'Jillaroo', who cooks for the cowboys, is Head of Mathematics at Bushland Middle School and drives the school bus. We were lucky to have shared a hike to Hasavu Falls through the Grand Canyon in 2013 and as we parted they mentioned that if we ever wanted to experience true Texan hospitality then they would be happy to show Y'all.
For five amazing days we shared stories, ate, laughed and drank. At Lake Betty we fished for bass and perch with lures whilst chewing down beef jerky and sucked down Coors. We practiced roping cattle and developed evasion skills that saw us leap high into the air. We trekked, hunted and wrestled to the ground a wild bob cat as deer watched on. Quad bikes were revved as we explored across the ranch, tasting wild plums and grapes as we went. Calf testicles (mountain oysters) were cut off, skinned, rolled in spices, deep fried and consumed. The grill was arced up on numerous occasions and mammoth steaks from freshly butchered livestock sizzled away. Friends and family were introduced and s'mores were roasted over the coals. Thighs were clenched tight as we mounted work horses and went for a gallop. With ear plugs firmly screwed in, we inhaled, pulled the trigger and blew our target away.
Greg and Rhonda not only showed us life on the ranch but also some great Texan institutions. At the Cadillac Ranch we placed our tag and watched as Greg branded a Cadillac with our initials; a 72oz (2.1 Kg) steak awaited at the Big Texan and belt buckles, chaps and boots were on display at Cavenders. The wilderness of the Palo Duro Canyon acted as the backdrop to Texas, the musical and fireworks exploded above the canyon roof as 4th of July celebrations brought a memorable end to our experience.
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