Grog blog! Drinking Around the World - Africa.

Spiderbait certainly nailed it to a tee when they sang in Old Man Sam, "We're all here drinking beer, drinking beer with out a care!"  That certainly is one of the beauties of travel, no matter where you are or who you are with, there exists a universal language in alcoholic that breaks down culture barriers. In Tanzania; everyone asks you two things 1. Did you make it to the Rooftop of Africa and 2. did you see the Big 5.  For us it was Yes to the roof top and No for the big 5. (missed out on the Rhino).  However, it depends on the interpretation of the question.  If it's the big 5 beers of Africa then you bet ya we did!  To quote Edmund Hillary "It  is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves" and also the Safari Lager, Serengeti Premium Lager, Mt Kilimanjaro Premium Lager, Tusker Lager and Castle Lager.  

Having made it to the summit and descended back to normality, the Kili shuffle takes control of your movements and you have to walk so incredibly slow. (Imagine an arthritic 90-year old walking backwards - that's probably too fast). So as we shuffled to the bar and grab one of the big 5 then began to yak to our fellow travel mates, we soon discovered the difference one letter of the alphabet can make in a conversation. Especially after some well earned lubrication for us novice Swahili speakers. As the night wore on and the beers flowed not only did the words begin to slur but their meaning changed altogether. They went from nice to nasty.  For instance, Jumbo (hello) went to Jumba (smelly fart), kunywa (to drink) went to kunya (to defecate), the biting mosquitoes (mbu) went to the biting mboo (penis), ordering kumi (ten) beers (bia) for our porters turned into ordering kuma bia (vagina beer) and complementing our waitress, by calling her a malaika (angel) went to malaya (prostitute).  The most devastating news was finding out that "Kimba" as in the children's show Kimba, the White Lion, translated to in big shit.

Time to down another Tusker Beer!