Ranch Ramblings!

The GPS flat lines and Highway 287 continues its promise of salvation. Each mile we traverse, the gloom thickens; for 40 miles we drive blind, scanning the horizon searching for evidence of the existence of the LX Ranch. The radio mocks us as radar love slithers across the airwaves: 'I've been driving all night my hands are wet on the wheel and a voice in my head drives my heel...' and the reality dawns upon us that we are lost! A predetermined play list seems to have been programmed into the radio, for as ZZ Top's La Grange barks about 'old Texas town' , fingers of light break through the cloud cover and illuminates a green arch that radiates the LX Ranch sign. We are here!

Greg, whose belt buckle and spurs tell the story of rodeo glories manages the ranch, whilst his beautiful wife Rhonda is a true 'Jillaroo', who cooks for the cowboys, is Head of Mathematics at Bushland Middle School and drives the school bus. We were lucky to have shared a hike to Hasavu Falls through the Grand Canyon in 2013 and as we parted they mentioned that if we ever wanted to experience true Texan hospitality then they would be happy to show Y'all.

For five amazing days we shared stories, ate, laughed and drank. At Lake Betty we fished for bass and perch with lures whilst chewing down beef jerky and sucked down Coors. We practiced roping cattle and developed evasion skills that saw us leap high into the air. We trekked, hunted and wrestled to the ground a wild bob cat as deer watched on. Quad bikes were revved as we explored across the ranch, tasting wild plums and grapes as we went. Calf testicles (mountain oysters) were cut off, skinned, rolled in spices, deep fried and consumed. The grill was arced up on numerous occasions and mammoth steaks from freshly butchered livestock sizzled away. Friends and family were introduced and s'mores were roasted over the coals. Thighs were clenched tight as we mounted work horses and went for a gallop. With ear plugs firmly screwed in, we inhaled, pulled the trigger and blew our target away.

Greg and Rhonda not only showed us life on the ranch but also some great Texan institutions. At the Cadillac Ranch we placed our tag and watched as Greg branded a Cadillac with our initials; a 72oz (2.1 Kg) steak awaited at the Big Texan and belt buckles, chaps and boots were on display at Cavenders. The wilderness of the Palo Duro Canyon acted as the backdrop to Texas, the musical and fireworks exploded above the canyon roof as 4th of July celebrations brought a memorable end to our experience.

Texas Tucker!

Like all of our travel experiences, we look forward to trying the local cuisine. Our hosts Rhonda and Greg certainly made sure we tried all things Texas. Rhonda is the ranch chef and can rustle up a mighty fine feast. Every morn, we woke to a delicious cooked breakfast; eggs, bacon, biscuits (scones to rival old Flo), cinnamon rolls and burritos. Dinners consisted of huge steaks, mountain oysters which are actually calf testicles that are deep fried into tasty little treats, beer battered bass freshly caught in Lake Betty by us truly, catalina salad, corn cob and sweet potato.

No trip to  the lone star state is complete without of visit to the themed restaurant "The Big Texan". Here you can order a 72 ounce steak (for those of you metric minded, it is the size of a Sunday roast). Now the challenge here is - if you can eat the steak, 2 bread rolls, a side salad and 2 prawn cutlets within an hour you get it all free. If not, you are up for a dollar an ounce. If your attempt is on stage, that is! For private dining you could be up for $250 for a fail.

The reigning champ is a petite woman, who managed to eat not one but three 72 ouncers with all the trimmings within the hour. The first was downed in a total of 4 minutes flat, the second in 7 minutes and the final took a total of 8 minutes. This phenomenon earned her the world record plus $5000 prize money.

 The story don't end there folks, the champ returned to the restaurant a couple of hours later for dessert! Like every thing in Texas, the desserts are big! One serve is enough to feed four and she ate 3 desserts.

Gluttony at its best!

Caprock Canyon!

Our first visit to Caprock Canyon was that of an observer.  We witnessed lightening crashing over the prairie and the cacophony of thunder rolling through the canyon.  The light refracted and splintered sending out shards of light to caress the canyon walls. Oche reds careen into a carpet of wildflowers that erupt from the soil.  Bison roam and make their presence felt, prairie dogs stand to attention and a scattering of roadrunners scamper by in a blur.

Our second visit sees us as participants. We hike the canyon floor in isolation with only nature as our companion. The azure sky frames the canyon, whilst down on the trail, prickly pear cactus, wild sunflowers, mexican hats and canyon thistles mark our progress towards Fern Cave, a 8 ml return hike that takes in the Upper Canyon and Canyon Loop trail.  In temperatures that hit 39C/103F, we walk through a scene taken straight out of a Wild West movie; dung beetles feast, lizards dance away from our footsteps and the Hoodoo geologist formation resembling a couple in a dance like pose monitors our movements from above.

The Caprock Canyon, with its cliffs and ravines provided us with a close up and personal look at geology in action.

On the road again!

A 16 hour flight (longest, long haul flight in the world), a bottle of Jameson under Brad's belt and regular visits to the toilet, to say ooroo to James set the scene for our 1000 mls road trip through the North of Texas.

Pickups, RV's and interstate truckers surge pass our compact Ford focus (road runner) as meerkat Brad strangled the steering wheel in a vice like grasp. The GPS pinged, the wireless crackled with cowboy moans about lost love , fiddles play and a Pastor preaches about the 'keys to heaven' as we sojourned down HWY 287.

Ghost towns beckoned. Names such as Turkey, Quitaque and Silverton, conjure up Bate's Motel like images. Signposted water towers, desolate main streets, RV trailer parks, lone windmills, oil pumps abandoned in fields and bizarre signs decorate the landscape.  However, the reality is always greater than fiction; as we stopped at these towns, whether for fuel,  a photo opportunity or to grab a coffee, we were greeted with much excitement, well wishes and stories that we felt like long lost kin.  Hospitality is certainly big in Texas!

Wichita Falls!

Wichita Falls, boasts a population of just over 100 000 and that's about all folks! The infrastructure of highway ramps was over kill for the size of the town. To journey 1 mile to the local Walmart was a series of entry and exit ramps instead of a quick trip around the corner.

For leisure and exercise, you can visit Wichita's Lucy Park and name sake Falls!

                                                        Internet portrayal


                                                                     

                                                                 Reality!                                                  

       

                                                             

Texas Time!

Howdy y'all. 

Time for another adventure (any excuse for a duty free top up). The destination of choice this time is 'Texas'. We are flying into Dallas Fort Worth, renting a hire vehicle and hitting Route 66. Along the way, we will check out Wichita Falls (love that name) and Caprock Canyon before donning our cowboy hats and spurs in Amarillo. We are staying with Rhonda and Greg. The gorgeous Texans whom we met whilst hiking Havasu Falls. (Grand Canyon). Greg, a fair dinkum cowboy runs a ranch near Palo Duro National Park.(second largest canyon in USA).  Looking forward to trying all things Texan. Activities on the ranch agenda include horse riding, cattle rounding and gun shooting (should make for some great tales) . Fortunately, we will be able to celebrate July 4th in style. Heading to the Canyon with Rhonda & Greg for some authentic hospitality by way of  'Texas' the musical followed by a chuck wagon Texas Bbq. So excited!                                                                                                                                                                      

             

                               If y'all are up for a bit a laughter therapy, just watch this space!                     

Leap Second! Frequent Flyers Beware!

The Earth's rotation around its own axis is gradually slowing down. However, the atomic clock which determines the length of a day is ticking away at the same speed. By adding a leap second every now and then, the UTC is synchronized with astronomical time. The last leap second added in 2012 caused some websites, including Qantas to crash. As a result some flights were delayed or cancelled.


















The next leap second will be added on June 30 at 23:59:60 UTC. Hope y'all haven't got flights booked!